Everything has been dragging lately and I don’t just mean the days. I feel as though some of my friendships are holding onto the last possible thread that they have and that soon I won’t be friends with some of those people… and it kills me to see that happen. You know when you feel that everything you do is too much of an effort and that there is no reason to even bother? I now feel like that and I don’t want to, I want to go out, I want to spend time with my friends and family and not be stuck in my room all day doing nothing, but it’s as if something is holding me down into thinking that no one would care if I was there. I care too much in what people think of me, yet I care too much in trying not to care what people think of me and it’s driving me insane. I can’t show/tell that to someone because I don’t want to be seen as weak… I’ve been told that I shouldn’t cry, “man up”, and now I think when trying to express myself emotionally I can be seen as heartless and rude. I don’t want to be seen like that, I’d hate to be seen like that.