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If you were to die this evening with no opportunity or communication with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?
"You think ‘Okay, I get it, I’m prepared for the worst,’ but you hold out that small hope, see, and that’s what fucks you up. That’s what kills you."
"Finally she lets herself think about how it feels:
to be so frightened that you almost can’t breathe
to speed so fast and be so completely out of control
to know the meaning of helplessness
to spin across a shining space knowing any moment you might end up hurt, but likewise, all the same, like plus wise you just might not."
-Ali Smith, How to be both (via quoted-books)
Who am I?

I’m a disgrace that’s who I am. I embarrass myself in work.. Probably have a warning in work now as well. I am crap at keeping in contact with my friends sometimes and never show/tell them how much they mean to me. I am not one to be vulnerable as I have always learnt that once you break down that wall and show someone that side to you they can then easily hurt you.. And I am terrified of getting hurt. I like having my own space but hate being alone at the same time and I’m someone who is scared that one day when everything else has gone… I won’t have one person to call knowing I need their help. So who am I? I’m a person who pushes people away in the hope that they don’t see the real me because the real me has nothing good to show.